"Be like the fox..."

"Be like the fox who makes more tracks than necessary, some in the wrong direction. Practice resurrection." Wendell Berry


To hear this quote for the first time is not enough to understand it. You have to hear it more than once for it to really mean something, for it to take root in your mind the way Wendell Berry meant it to. 


It's an excerpt from "Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front," in case you were wondering. This summer was the first time I'd ever heard this, though Berry's name had been a familiar one for some time now. We were gathered together for the last book study of the summer, sitting cross-legged in a circle on the grey rug that had the faintest odor of feet and dog, but not in an unpleasant way. At the end of the general discussion and a wrap-up of what had been covered over the past few weeks, our program director said he had something to share with us. He began to read this "Manifesto," this string of words that weighed much more than the paper they were printed on. 


It's about a lot of things. It's about fighting conformity, about investing in more than stocks, about loving the Lord. It's about not being afraid to make mistakes so long as you learn from them.


A few weeks ago at a weekend retreat I was reminded of these words. After being in school for so long, my life had reached a dull, mind-numbing repetitiveness. My life was dancing to a pattern that I had cut out for myself; I could see the rut but could not see how to get out of it. While at this retreat was blessed with just what was needed: Silence. No voices in my head telling me what should be doing, no schedule screaming at me to go here or there. Just silence. The Lord spoke to me, showed me that my complacency was pushing me to the verge of apathy, the stealthiest sin of them all. He showed me that what was missing was growth, and that my relationship with Him had been struggling more than I had even known. He showed me how to start growing again, and PRAISE THE LORD that He continues to teach me each day. He has taught me to live expecting to learn.


Not long after this retreat, I got a package. It was a manilla envelope with my name on the outside in careful handwriting, the letters a familiar script. Inside was a note from my program director, short and to the point, but still with so much of his personality seeping out of the black ink that I couldn't help but smile. He had burned me a few CDs, "old school like," with some advice written on them in brown permanent marker: "Be like the fox who makes more tracks than necessary, some in the wrong direction. Practice resurrection."


This morning the Lord reminded me that He has given me a great gift! He has bought me again and set me free. This life He's given me is not to be wasted. It's not to wallow in sin. It's not to be content being a bum. With the Lord's help I will indeed be content in all circumstances (Philippians 4:11-12), but I will not waste this life. 


"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me." Philippians 3:12


Paul goes on to say that he presses on and "reaches forward to those things which are ahead" (v.13) to "the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (v.14). 


With the Lord's help, I will practice resurrection. I will live a life that screams the freedom He has so freely given. I will make mistakes, but they will serve "to mark the false trail, the way [I] didn't go."


"Further Up and Further In."

Sun, sand - and Caribbean baseball?

What's the best remedy for a whole lotta school? Why, to load up in a van with some of your soon-to-be closest friends eva and head down to the BEACH!


Thursday afternoon the borrowed church bus pulled into the parking lot of Seashore United Methodist Assembly. We were on fall break, and so the Wesley foundation at Southern was hanging out on the Mississippi coast for some fellowship, Spiritual renewal, and service! After settling into our rooms, we immediately crossed MS Highway 90 (frogger, anyone?) and hung out at the beach until supper time. The Lord blessed us with absolutely BEAUtiful weather! Since it was the first day, we just hung out and shared what each of us expected to gain from our time here. The camp director, Ms. Suzanne, gave a devotion focused on Isaiah 58:7-12. Talked about how so often our posture is not open, how we walk around campus with our iPods plugged in and our defenses up. We prayed to be more open with each other, to be more open to what the Lord would be teaching us. After a bonfire on the beach and some star gazing, we headed back to some cozy sleeping bags with the hopes of getting some sweet, sweet rest for the day ahead! 

Ladies walking on the beach...

Boys working on that fire. 

Friday was a fresh beginning. Got to spend some quiet time with the Lord pull the sun up over the ocean water. Again we met as a group and prayed over the day's work. My team, (Team Green) and Team Blue were assigned to help prepare a house for demolition and also to repair a long, chain link fence that ran across the back property line of Seashore. Admittedly my first thoughts were that I would rather have gone with Team Yellow and been able to minister to the homeless, but the Lord had a LOT to teach me, and thankfully He opened my heart to what He was whispering. 


Now, I've done work in the yard before, but repairing a fence was a whole new ballgame. The first thing we had to do was cut all of these little vines off before we could do much else. As I was working by myself on one section of the fence, occasionally getting pricked by those spiky vines that work themselves in amongst the others, to be honest I was frustrated. Why don't we just tear this whole section down and put in a new one? Why are the few of us out here doing this work while the other teams are having fun? Blah blah blah negativity. Hellooooooo! Thankfully the Lord moved in my heart and said, "Audrey, this is the work I need you to do. You are here for a purpose, and the work you are doing should be done joyfully! Do everything without complaining. A bigger picture is being painted." 


Thank YOU Lord, for not allowing me to wallow in self-pity, for showing me instead how to find JOY in the little things, and to take the time to get to know the others on my team. Thanks to God and His greater plans, the people on my team were able to bond with each other and spend time learning things about one another that we hadn't known before. We were able to work together and restore this broken fence, to help beautify a place of worship, to make Seashore assembly the light in the darkness that it has been for this community after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

Catherine, myself and Jenny

The rest of the afternoon was fun as we worked together to complete the fence and to begin organizing a shed on the property. After a hard day's work, we all came together again for worship in the tiny chapel. We had a time of sharing about what each group had done that day. To hear of all the work that was accomplished and how the Lord had used our short time here to build and strengthen community within our group was so beautiful. We sang together and took communion. We used a special bread that we had made together earlier that morning, a further example of the many members coming together to form one body. Standing in the chapel with our little Wesley community on each side of me was so humbling. We were here, together, worshipping and serving the Lord. So what if we were all a little dirty, with sand in our hair and grime on our face? What mattered was that we were gathered for a greater purpose, to glorify the Lord.

Miranda and I climbing trees!

That night we ended up on the beach again to play endless rounds of Bunny Bunny, Big Booty, Caribbean baseball and catchphrase. The night ended with our group sitting together and thanking the Lord for His many blessings and for all that He had allowed us to experience over these few days. Being able to pray to our great God who binds us together added to an overflowing cup. 



Overall, the whole weekend was restoring. We developed community with each other and got to see the true colors of ourselves away from the pressures of school life. Recently I heard someone say that the best way to build community is to work together for a common purpose. This weekend, the Lord showed me just how true that statement is. Our Wesley community grew together because we were working to show the love of Christ to a community that needs it so badly. All of our different flavors blended together and came out a delicious bread, the Body. 

Alberto, our fearless leader!

Patrick, Alex, Victoria and Harry doin' work

"Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily, 
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.'"
Isaiah 58:7-9




"Further Up and Further In."

The Wesley Community.