do JUSTICE.

Over the past few months and through many in-depth conversations and various research, one thing has become more obvious:

We have created the world in which we live in. We ask for slave labor, for chemicals in our food and personal care products. We choose to poison our planet with waste. And many of us do it every day with the simple swipe of a credit card.

That's right, WE have done this and WE are doing this. Why do the things listed above exist? A lot of it has to do with greed, with never having enough and never having it fast enough. The better question, however, is WHY ARE WE ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN? It all goes back to asking questions.

Until about six months ago, I would have called myself "aware." I used a canvas tote when shopping to avoid the need for plastic bags. I got upset when people didn't recycle their cans and bottles or left trash on the ground. I got frustrated hearing about children in sweatshops around the world and even threw a dollar or two to a good cause now and then. Even with all of this, I was contributing to the problem much, much more than I was helping, and all because I was not asking the questions that mattered. In fact, I was not asking questions at all. How do super corporations like Walmart and Target (yes, Target) afford to sell things so cheaply? Where does the food I buy come from, and what conditions are they grown in? Who made these clothes, and how did they arrive at the air-conditioned stores in which I shop at?

When we refuse to ask the questions that matter, we contribute to the problem. By purchasing things that are grown with dangerous chemicals, that contain GMOs, that aren't made efficiently enough to last more than one or two years, we are telling companies that this is what we want. By going to McDonald's instead of a farmer's market, we are saying that "Yes, I'll take food that is absolutely terrible for me and the planet, and I want it fast." Everything, from the clothes we wear to the coffee we drink, can seriously hurt people.

As a Jesus-follower, it's part of my calling to care for PEOPLE and CREATION. One of the simplest ways to do that is by choosing where I shop and what I buy. Sounds easy, right? BECAUSE IT IS!!! With a little simple research, we can all become more conscious of the long-term effects of the things we buy and hopefully will put that knowledge to ACTION. 

As part of my new year's resolution, I'm resolving to strive for justice. One of the verses God has shown me lately is Micah 6:8. The verse says: "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." 


Want to know more? Start with these links...
http://www.storyofstuff.org - Check out The Story of Change video
http://www.betterworldshopper.com - THIS WILL SHOCK YOU. FO REAL.



"Further Up, Further In, and Farther Along."

courage, child.

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality."

-C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

“But courage, child: we are all between the paws of the true Aslan.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle






Further Up, Further In, and Farther Along.

literacy.

this morning i have an eight o' clock class that i truly enjoy getting up for. 

it's SPE 400, a class that teaches about teaching children with special needs. it's one of those rare classes that the teacher goes beyond the text, that we DO more and THINK more and LEARN more than if all we did was look at a slide show and take notes.

today one of the graduate students gave a presentation on literacy, on incorporating writing into the classroom. she had us start by relaxing our mind, then for five minutes writing down things that came to us. she emphasized to just write, not to think or plan and be fake. after some sharing of ideas, we drew with crayons and some blank paper canvases the things that came to our mind. it was so soothing, to drag that pacific blue crayon across the page, to see the deepness of the color come alive. realized this morning so much of a story has been brimming at the surface of my soul for a long time and all it took was a little prodding to get it out of me, to draw back the velvet curtains and let the warm sunlight expose all the doubts and fear and heartache that was swept so much into the corners.

as the words came freely from the pen in hand, the boldness of the ink began to make the story a reality. it was about a night long ago and far away, with more emotion than i had even fathomed. a night of realizations and sorrows and regrets, of finally cherishing the moment at hand and trying hard to not let the day to come creep into our midst. writing it all out, putting color to the faded images, was almost too much to bear. i wanted to cry and dance and laugh and bend over in pain all at the same time.

and then the class was over, and we walked out of the door with our backpacks slung over our shoulders, each to his own path. each to finish writing his own story.


"Further Up, Further In, and Farther Along."

When I Drink.

"It's the only way to keep that last bit of sanity 
Maybe I don't have to be good but I can try to be 
At least a little better than I've been so far, 
Oh, at least a little better than I've been so far."
-The Avett Brothers, "When I Drink"

Happy Halloweeeennnnnn!!!

So, Halloween is one of my utmost favorite holidays.

Whatever people may say, Halloween is just all out fun. You can dress up, decorate, eat fun halloween foods, whatever! And you get to carve pumpkins. Cuhlassic. 

Growing up, we always decorated for every holiday. Seriously, our attic is FULL of things collected over the years. It was (still is!) one of my favorite times of year when we get to climb up the dusty, rusty attic ladder and dig into the boxes to get ready for the holidays. 

This year as my roommates and I decorated our house for Halloween, it got me thinking more about why I love this time of year so much. To a lot of people the holidays aren't even a big deal, and that just makes me sad! The more I've thought about it, the more I've come to realize that for us, the holidays have always been a time for our family to come together. Everyone has their role: Dad and I pull down the stuff and arrange the lawn decor (often a little too over the top, to mom's dismay). Mama puts stuff up in the house and cooks all kinds of holiday goodies, and Emily goes behind and rearranges Mom's decor. Rachel floats - helps outside and inside. 

Something about this time of year is just a little bit more magical. Even though we're getting to be spread out, walking a little farther down our life paths, this time of year still brings us together. 

So, happy Halloween! Hope it's spook-tacular. 

Linus! I seriously love this pumpkin. 

Linus and I on our front porch.

Our front porch - ready for trick-or-treaters!

"Further up, Further In, and Farther Along."

taste of HOME.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y.....

It's a lovely September Saturday night. Typically this would mean one of two things: either hanging out with friends elsewhere or hosting a game/movie night in. However, on this particular evening I admittedly find myself entertaining a party of one, and it has been quite a blessing.

Being alone, truly and simply, is a hard thing to come by in college. More often than not there's a function or meeting to attend, or friends to entertain, or family to visit or a game to be at. And yet, there still remain small glimpses of solitude here and again, and perhaps their rarity makes them all the better. Now, don't get me wrong - I love people. Seriously. But there come times when you just need to be, when you just need to turn up your music and walk around in your underwear.

With the evening before me, it crossed my mind that one of my favorite radio programs plays only on Saturday nights on MPB! Quickly tuning in, the sweet sounds of bluegrass begin to play, filling the kitchen with warmth only matched by the soft lamplight. As I began to get supper ready, the sounds of beautiful voices and stringed instruments kept me company.

Now, if you know me, you know that I was born and raised in Meridian. If you really know me, you know that my hometown is Oxford. Being away from that place is hard, and deep in my bones I'm always longing to be back: to walk the Square, to drive down Jackson St., to most of all reside at 117 Camp Lake Stephens Drive. And on this lovely September Saturday night, God blessed me with a little taste of home. Unbeknownst to me, tonight's program was coming live from the one and only Oxford, straight out of a favorite haunt known as Off-Square Books. As the program went on and speakers spoke, they would reference places or things of Oxford, like Ajax and Boure and Hank Hung the Moon. Oh, how sweet it was to almost be there!

Even though I can't be where I most long to be, it's always on my mind and in my heart. As of late it's been a struggle to come to terms with this, but God's been teaching me to recognize the purpose where He's placed me. He's showing me how to appreciate the beauty of the 'Burg. He's opening doorways to love others, to be loved by others, to discover things about living a life that reflects Him. To yearn for Him above all else, for Heaven, and to recognize His plans as far greater than my own. To be PATIENT, and to never ever forget that hope exists.

So, tonight, over a supper of fish fillet and mac n' cheese and a tall glass of sweet tea, my heart and my stomach were filled. Thank You, dear Lord, for a night in.

An artist's depiction of the courthouse on The Square,
purchased from Off-Square Books this summer.

"Further Up, Further In, and Farther Along."

prayer, please...

For Buffalo Mountain Camp, a Sister camp in another United Methodist conference, who showed us much hospitality this summer. They experienced some pretty serious flood damage this August and need to be lifted up as they rebuild.

During our stay there, we were able to experience what their campers experience each week. They opened their doors, their pantries, and their hearts to us that week. During one of their worship services, they sang a medley of songs, and ironically enough these lyrics from Needtobreathe was incorporated:

"Even when the rain fallsEven when the flood starts risingEven when the storm comesI am washed by the water."
It's hard to deal with damage from life storms (physical and emotional), but not impossible. Please be in prayer for these, our Brothers and Sisters, and this amazing ministry.


Click the link below to learn more!

http://www.buffalomountaincamp.org


"Further Up, Further In, and Farther Along."

lessons in love.

God has been teaching me so much lately.

After the summer, have been realizing that while at college I clang to the familiar and only pretended to delve into things that were different, only skimmed the surface of relationships that could have been deeper. This year, have been determined not to do that.

It all kind of began with moving off campus. Yes, this year five of us ladies are living in a house rented out to students involved in the Wesley foundation! Although I know all of them, I could only honestly say that I was close to two of the girls. Moving in a week early allowed me to get to know the other two girls better, through conversations and cooking and prayer.

As school began to get started back, God continued to provide me with opportunities to spend true time with people who had before not really bothered to try and get to know because I already had a "group of friends," not feeling as if I should invest in other people. How foolish this mentality was! God has such a creativeness, allowing each of us to express an ego, a self, and to do so in such a way that imperfectly reflects His image. Cutting myself off from potential relationships was severing my chance to see God and to love as He calls us to. Thank You Lord for giving more grace, for not leaving me in that rut!

With that being said, there are several people who He has obviously called me to love this semester. It was so hard before because I was relying on myself, trying to draw on some fictitious source of love that existed in me apart from Him. As God called me to love more, began to see that this was going to be quite impossible without His help (duh!) and that the only way to pour out was to know the Source. He's been teaching me to call on the Spirit, God within, for help and strength.

It's been hard for sure. Although it has been AMAZING to experience these new, deeper relationships, at the same time it's hard to feel more distant from those who I used to feel closest to. And now is the kicker: contentment. God's been teaching me more and more to let Him in, to see You, Jesus, as my Friend and Companion. I am never alone, never deprived of One who knows me more intimately than I even know myself. Growing closer to You, Jesus, has been a beautiful and difficult journey, but for the first time it feels real. You are showing me more and more how to love, how to be loved, how to live. Most of all, am learning how to cherish time with You and to simply be in Your presence - to truly seek You above all else: above other people, above my to-do list, above what I'll eat or do next.


Comfort has come from:
Matthew 6:34.
the story of Mary Magdalene.
numerous Psalms.
"Spanish Pipedream," as covered by The Avett Brothers.
"Farther Along," by Josh Garrels.
Some advice from a dear Friend.



Dear Lord, please keep tearing down these walls as You alone see fit.




"Further Up, Further In, and Farther Along."

must love dogs.

I have always been a "cat" person.

Growing up, it was not uncommon for our family to have anywhere from five to fifteen cats at one time, all of them living outside of course. When we moved to our new house about five years ago, Dad finally got us a dog. Needless to say, this precious puppy grew into an excited, overwhelming dog, and for a long time I have struggled with loving her as I love my wonderful cats. 

This morning I was sitting outside trying to soak up some Creation/Creator time, and lo and behold Manny (dog) wanders up. At first I was admittedly annoyed, wanting to be alone and at peace with the pine trees instead of having to ward off the inevitable licking and rubbing and smell that Manny brings with her. BUT, something God has been teaching me lately is to see Manny as He sees her, to see her as His Creation. I have never really thought about dogs, or even cats for that matter, as God's Creation. He made her just the way she is for a purpose, and to wish her any differently is kind of an insult to God. Those verses in 1 John came to mind, 4:20-21, that say: "If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this is the commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also." 

Sitting in the shade with Manny, God taught me to love her as much as I love Misty or Midnight or Merlin or Lynno or Simba. How can I say I love God's Work when I don't even try to love this sweet dog right in front of me? After years of avoidance and annoyance, am finally learning to love Manny for who she is, licking and all. We sat for a while under that pine tree, God showing me all the while how much Manny points to Him, how she can teach me so much about how we are supposed to love our Master. 

Thanks, Lord, for teaching me always. For breaking my stubbornness. For creating DOGS. 

MANNY.

"FURTHER UP AND FURTHER IN."

reality check.

Summer is a magical time.

For a few months out of the year, we can do all of the things that never seem to fit into the space of our "normal" lives. People read books, spend lazy days at the pool, go on craft kicks (if you're my mother). For me, the last three summers have been spent in a place that can only be compared to Neverland or Narnia or some other fictional place that you've only read or dreamed about: a wonderful little summer camp down a winding Mississippi backroad. For about ten weeks, I am blessed to live where kids and sunshine are staples to life. Where the pool is your shower. Where wasp stings are somewhat unavoidable and where air conditioning is unheard of. This little camp holds my heart, and I cannot tell you of another place that I have found such Christian community or have learned so much about relationships or God or pole beans...

And after that tenth week, it's over. And you're back home around t.v. and air conditioning and fast food and strip malls. And it's almost as if those ten weeks were a dream. This summer it hit harder than ever, coming back from camp, because it was probably the most difficult I've ever experienced.. and yet it was also the one that God brought me the farthest on in so many ways. He taught me what it's like to be in real relationships with people, about love and hope and faith and peace. He showed me how extensive His Creation is - from the highest mountains to the lowest caves. He taught me to question things that are, that just because it is doesn't mean it should be.

These past few days I've been asking myself a lot of questions. Usually when the summer ends, we step back into the "real" world and don the clothing of our "normal" life again. Sure, some habits like recycling may stick, but for the most part things go back to the way they were. But WHY IS THAT? When was it determined that this is real life and that is not, this is how things are done and that is just an idea to entertain? Well, I'm tired of making that distinction. My reality is not what it has been, no, no longer.

The things that define my reality are:
 6 hour bus rides with smelly junior high boys.
the taste of fresh tomatoes and peppers from a garden in your own backyard.
bare feet on smooth wood.
geese landing on a lake in the morning.
fresh meat from local farmers.
bracelets made with love.
love that comes from God.
community.
bright, joyful colors.
poems by Wendell Berry.
flowing skirts.
dog breath.
dirt.
mud puddles.
camp fires and honey and granola.
hand-written letters.
rain on a tin roof.
frisbee.
tent poles.
my family.


In a few days I'll be moving back for my last year of college as an undergraduate...
I'm eagerly awaiting the chance to be back amongst the things that are familiar, yet determined that they do not remain the same. So much has changed this summer.

In The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis, there's a place called "The Wood Between The Worlds." The main characters of the story happen across this place while on some of their adventures. It's a place where the only things that happen are the trees continue to grow - nothing else lives there, only the soft blades of grass and the shade trees, but from that place one can access all of the other "worlds". As one character described it, the wood was not where the real living took place. For me, the real living takes place at camp, and the in-between place has been the other nine months of the year. However, this is not the way it should be. It's time to let what we do at camp fill the streets. Lord, I'm praying for boldness and courage and help, so much help, to not slip back into sameness, to make my reality real again. 

"Suppose we did our work
like the snow, quietly, quietly,
leaving nothing out."
-w.b.

may we all be sincerely, thankfully progressing,
"further UP and further IN."

letter from the past.

"Return, O Israel, to the LORD your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity. Take with you words and return to the LORD; say to Him, 'Take away all iniquity; accept what is good, and we will pay with bulls the vows of our lips.'" -Hosea 14:1-2



It's a new year, a new day, a new hour. Yet what brings me to blog tonight is something of old, something that has been packed away in a neatly labeled box in the attic of my mind...


A postcard started the whole thing. A simple rectangle: blue, unassuming. To anyone it would seem like just another piece of mail. And, truth be told, it is. Except at the same time it's not. The letter was patiently waiting on my dresser when I got home from school yesterday. It was unexpected, really. I thought that I would never get another piece of mail like this again; yet, there it was, clearly addressed to me. The message was a simple one: "You are requested to pray for Happening #7 on Saturday, April 21 from 7:00 pm to 7:30 pm."

As I read those words for the first time in it seemed like ages, something inside me stirred. The contents of that carefully packed away box began to rattle, and a few years of dust took to the air. You see, the Happening is a weekend retreat for students in high school. You go through once, and then you can be on staff. This retreat was a big part of my life for a really long time, and there is absolutely no way to explain how the Lord used it to save my life. If it wasn't for the Happening, I don't even want to think about who I'd be right now.

As I sat down to pray tonight, memories came flooding back; the box was open once again. As I prayed over the list of Happeners, the Lord reminded me what it felt like to be there. He reminded me of how it felt to be loved by complete strangers, how it felt to be so taken care of that even though you don't know what's going on you don't really care because you can trust that it will be for your good. He reminded me what it felt like to be on staff, to be down to your last but that it was those times when He really shined through. He reminded me what it felt like to cry openly, to pray, to sing joyfully and freely and boldly for Him, perhaps for the first time without any other care but to worship my Savior. How could I have forgotten these things? Why would I ever shove this away, cram this in some mental cardboard box as if that part of my life was over?


I felt like Simba in that infamous scene when he talks to Mufasa in the sky. Mufasa says, "Simba, you have forgotten me." Simba responds with, "No. How could I?" Mufasa, in all his wisdom, replies: "You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."

Tonight I was reminded that I am who I am now because of God, plain and simple. He has taken many things in my life and used them to shape me. He is the Potter, and I am the clay, simple dirt and water. I must never forget what He has done for me, how much I will always be in need of Him, always "falling on my knees, offering all of me," because He's "all this heart is living for." He's the One I must run to when I'm broken. He's the Healer, the Great Provider, and He NEVER fails.

Lord, please help me to live in a constant state of brokenness before You. Please let me never be a forgetful hearer, but when I do forget, please bring me back to You. Amen.

"Further Up and Further In."