When do we transition into adulthood?
When is it that we walk past the guy in the wheelchair? When do we have too much to do on the weekend, can't afford a spontaneous road trip? When do we lose touch with close friends? When is it that we can walk down the sidewalk on a beautiful September day without being amazed at God's creation?
Walking on campus today, God struck me with these thoughts... College students though we may be, we are the ones who know how to live. Though the world takes so much, still we find just a little more to give. We have no time at all and yet all the time in the world for a friend in need. We are filled with a rare and strong passion for life. Things that have no value by some standards - a letter from a friend, a hug, a warm conversation - are the things we most treasure. We have nothing but know how to make the most of it. Still we see the good though so often we are immersed in the bad. We are moved by pain, by joy, by love. We are the outlines of a story; we are just presently beginning to see where we fit into this world. We are united by a desire to be different - we dare to face this world with a bold and brazen hope that somehow it can be changed for good.
We are the green sprout of life daring to grow among the barren soil...
"Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
Dare to be the sprout that, with the strength of the Spirit, exemplifies what love the Father has for His world.
"Further Up and Further In."
So I just got back from our orientation for observing in the classroom this fall, and a mix of emotions are whirling through my being...
As our class of teachers-to-be gathered outside the high school office, all dressed in our professional best, it was almost comical to look around and still see the students in us. Though we were clothed in dress pants and shirts, it was really hard to see that we weren't all just college kids full of anticipation.
Our instructor walked up and led us into the building. We took seats in the library and listened as the school counselor described what to expect from the school itself.
Next the principal spoke. What she had to say was invaluable; she has had many years of experience teaching at all different levels, and she gave it to us straight. She shared how this job is not an easy one, how we don't just clock out at 3:30. She said if we are in it for the money (HA!) or the vacation hours, then we really need to reconsider this. She said that this is truly a calling, that if we are not here because we love kids and really feel like we can make a difference, then this is not the right place to be.
What she was saying was so true. After years of watching my mom teach algebra, it has never crossed my mind that this is just a profession. I have watched my mom get up early - WAY too early - to finish grading papers or writing her lesson plans. I have seen her leave early to get to school and stay late after just to meet with students who are having trouble. Mom has always been that teacher that goes above and beyond, the one who buys little certificates to make up random awards so that each of her students could feel recognized on awards days that usually only apply to those who excel academically. She makes sure to attend every sporting event and every band competition that she can as well as balance a family at home.
The idea of teaching has been one of ministry ever since the Lord revealed to me that this is the path for right now. To seek the students and get to know them is the part that draws me to teaching. Actually "teaching" is a different story! How in the world am I going to get a bunch of high school students to learn Biology? Most of them are taller than me, and most of them dress better than me too!
"They need good biology teachers." That's the response that every single adult who's ever asked me what I'm doing with my life has given me. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? What makes someone a good teacher? What if they don't learn? What if my class is the one that they despise, what if I'm not able to engage all of their different learning styles? What if that one child with bad behavior won't listen to me?
Right about now God is telling me to hold up. If He's brought me this far and provided a way to go to school, if He's opened the doors for me to get into the right classes and given me the chance to be a camp counselor, He's been preparing me for this for a whole lot longer than I realize and in more ways than I realize. It is not of my own power that I'll be teaching but it will be the power of the Holy Spirit within me.
Today the Lord shared this with me through a devotional book "Jesus Calling":
"On some days, your circumstances and your physical condition feel out of balance: The demands on you seem far greater than your strength. Days like that present a choice between two alternatives - giving up or relying on Me."
...and my dear Friend shared this verse with me:
"Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand." -Philippians 4:5.
Teaching is not simply a job. God has called me to teach, and far be it from me to try to do this on my own! This is God's plan, and I have never been more sure of that than these past few weeks of teaching classes. This is going to be tough. Probably am going to want to quit. But in knowing that this is GOD's plan, that this is the story HE is writing, is comforting. I am not the one who will be the teacher but it is He who is in me. Choosing to press on (Philippians 3:12), to rely on the Father, Son and Holy Spirit...
"Further Up and Further In."
