"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

Dear LORD, You know everything, and I know nothing.


That was my lesson today. After wandering around campus this morning with the "plan" of what my day should be like, He had a different set of circumstances in mind. Intended to get up early, spend some time in the Word and in prayer, intended to have time to run to Target and pick up some last minute school supplies, intended to go to my classes and enjoy my perfect schedule. Thankfully God had things His way instead.


After praying for a little while but not truly feeling that beautiful state where it's just you and the LORD, felt like walking around a bit and exercising that prayer muscle in motion. Ran into my friend who is bound to a wheel chair and only able to speak through a device that allows her to type out her words. She indicated that she needed some help finding where her classes would be that morning, and since my first class wasn't until later it worked out that I could help her. 


As we were traveling across campus and making friendly conversation, I was amazed at the kindness of other students and their taking the time to speak to her and help her with things she dropped. Saw how brave she has to be to attend a university and how much spunk she had, how it was truly she who was teaching me about being genuine and willing to ask for help.


After our trek across campus, ended up at the Wesley and spent some time in the student chapel there. It is a truly secret and quite place, peaceful, simple painted walls. In reading Ezekiel saw the people were sobbing over their iniquity, devastated at the way they had failed. Realized that is the way I need to be over my sins, need to be truly sorrowful. 


At this point God began to reveal to me that HE knows everything, while I know nothing. He is greater, so much greater that creatures are constantly praising Him night and day, crying "Holy, Holy Holy," (Isaiah 6:3). Constantly need to be in a state of humbleness, aware that God alone knows everything. 
This awareness was brought about again later in the day, when after attending just one class my teacher made it known that we all needed to be enrolled in another which conflicted with my schedule. Suddenly I had to call my advisor, figure out what needed to be done, figure out what new book I'll need for this mystery class. God knows everything, I know nothing. This is in His plan, and just gotta trust that all will work according to His purpose and seek to fulfill it wherever it leads me. 


Thank You Lord for taking plans and breaking them. This is Your life, not mine. Please let it glorify You in every way!


"Further Up and Further In."

all about a smile :]

"A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give."
-- Author Unknown


"Further Up and Further In."

abiding in His love.

Recently I've begun a journey back to Jesus.


This is not of my own power, because it was in fact myself that created the distance between us and hindered our relationship for several weeks. It hurt to be so far from Him and not understand why, to wake up and pray and read the Word and to not feel like we had encountered each other. 


Finally God woke me up from my self-delusions, made me realize that if I really wanted to find Him again then I had to fully seek Him. All of my prayers had been rushed, distracted, un-centered, and time in His Word had been more out of habit and an effort to put a bandage on our relationship instead of what it should have been. To come back to Him, I had to remember who He is.


It took reading the words and story of Jesus found in the book of John, beginning with the foot washing, to really start this process. For the first time in ages it felt like His words were alive, and the Spirit revealed so much to me about Jesus. To see the way He always pointed to the Father, how He always credited everything to God and how His whole purpose was to glorify the Father, was so beautiful. Jesus has often been someone I look over somehow - instead focusing on God and His power and the Spirit and His counsel. To read with fresh eyes the story of Jesus and to truly see His unending love broke a hole in the wall that was between us. He is the Good Shepherd, He sought me when a stranger wandering from the fold. 


This morning in prayer realized that right now I'm supposed to be preparing myself to be His bride. After spending most of yesterday with a close friend who is about to get married and thinking about how so many other of my friends are in serious relationships or engaged, on my mind was my future husband and also on a boy who I used to think would be the infamous "one." All of this is not what my focus should be. 


Jesus has been my friend, my protector, my comforter. He has known me in ways that no one else in this present age knows, He has always taken care of me and listened to my struggles and rejoiced in my times of gladness. I'm tired of giving my heart away to people and to things that end up leaving me empty. Jesus is calling me to surrender to Him, to experience true life. He is my Lord and provider. He says, "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love," (John 15:9). 


Abiding in His love. Just to think of it is peace. To abide in His love makes me feel whole, complete. 


"Further up and further in."

numero uno

So, this is the beginning of an experiment. Many times have found that getting words onto paper has helped sort out the complexities of life and allowed me to see GOD's hand in all of it. With this in mind, it is time to see how well this method works with a keyboard.

This beginning appropriately coincides with the beginning of a new phase in my life: Movin' out. Big deal, right? Actually, it is indeed for someone who has lived at home for the first two years of her college career! Time to spread these feeble wings and soar down this new path which God has breathed.

With this newfound freedom, God is reminding me that "..you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." -Galatians 5:13.

Freedom, true freedom, is only found in Christ. Let us use this gift as God has called us to!


Until next time, may we all continue "Further Up and Further In."